16 Comments
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Laura Moore's avatar

I'd never heard this until reading your post... ha, yes precisely. "the saying goes: 'if you know one person with autism, you know one person with autism'"

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Ebony L's avatar

It took me about 10 reads to wrap my head around it the first time I saw it written down, but now I think it's pretty bang on!

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jybyky's avatar

Expression of valuable experience.

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Ebony L's avatar

Little bit more human than a diagnostic manual, if nothing else!

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Chris ❤ 🏳‍🌈 (CDN) he/him 50+'s avatar

Do you follow neurodivergent notes here on substack? You might be interested... or not... I don't know... sorry

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Ebony L's avatar

I don’t think I do, will check them out - thanks!

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Sara Allard's avatar

Thank you for sharing your experiences! I was fortunate enough to get a diagnosis at a young age, but I know most other Autistic women aren't as lucky. I'm in awe at the strength of late-diagnosed girlies like yourself, and wish you all the absolute best!

I'm also an aunt (of a neice and nephew both under the age of 4), and I love them just as deeply as if they were my own children. But I also need time to recover after being with them for several days. And if I'm with them for more than a week, I stop being myself. I shut down, my reflexes get worse, I start making bad decisions. Medical procedures are also my biggest meltdown trigger, so I also don't see children in my future. I will instead dedicate myself to being an cool aunt and serve in children's charities/ministries. ♥️

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Ebony L's avatar

Aww, thank you for a lovely comment! At what age were you diagnosed, if you don't mind me asking?

Yesss, we seem to have the same ethos around kids. I've got my niece and also my partner's two nephews: I think that's plenty haha.

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Sara Allard's avatar

I was diagnosed at age 4, which I know isn't very common for girls growing up in the early 2000s! That was truly the only benefit of the constant meltdowns I had during my early childhood.

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Rachel Varnsverry's avatar

This is interesting. Perhaps the communication one please

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Ebony L's avatar

Thanks Rachel, the next one will be posted on Sunday. ☺️

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Beverly Smith's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I can relate to so much of it. I've never been diagnosed as I'm now 70, and that just wasn't even known about. There were just "weird" kids. I was an adult before I knew about introversion, so I diagnosed myself as an extreme introvert. That actually helped because it explained the noise aversion, social anxiety and awkwardness, ability to focus, etc. I found ways to cope and have had a good life. I wish the same for you. I really put myself out there and started a substack recently. It was scary as hell, but then it felt good. Where else can we find strangers who have so much in common with our own small worlds.

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Ryan Henneberg's avatar

Thank you for sharing your experience. I appreciate the opportunity to learn more about this; you've done a great job describing this aspect of your life.

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Amy W.'s avatar

I relate to so many of these things! Especially the supermarket - I feel like my brain “glitches” when I’m in one. There’s just so much going on in such a confined space. Sensory aids help, but I still struggle. I’m also so with you on struggling to hear people in social settings! That’s been a huge thing for me. Thank you for sharing your experience.

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Evelyn Harte's avatar

I was just diagnosed with autism/adhd this year (at 25 yrs old), and I’ve been writing about it as well! I loved your reflection about showing up to the doctor with all your notes. I did the same thing with a giant notes app reflection called “Reasons I’m Probably Autistic.” The doctor only made it about 1/4 the way through before saying “yeah, we should definitely do some testing.” (:

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Adrian Cox's avatar

Wow, this is reminding me of so many of my own sensory quirks. Smell has always been immense for me — I can’t stand taxis; as a child if I was in a taxi I’d cover my mouth and nose with my mum’s scarf or cardigan to combat the nausea and stress that arose from the smell (I had the same issue in my grandparents’ car, for some reason). Your mention of derealisation resonated a lot, as well. It’s something I’ve experienced a lot, often without having a name for what was going on, so it’s reassuring to see it written down. Thank you for sharing this with such honesty! <3

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